Redneck Sayings

These might improve yer grammar if ya plan on headin' south.

 

Exclamations of surprise:

• "Well, knock me down and steal my teeth!"
• "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!"

Threats:

• "I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be out of style."
• "This oughta jar your preserves."
• "Don't you make me open a can o' whoop ass on ya."

Compliments:

• "Cute as a sack full o' puppies."
• "Gooder than grits."

Weather

• "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
• "It's been hotter than a goats butt in a pepper patch."
• Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot".

Descriptions:

• A bothersome person is referred to as "He's like a booger ya can't thump off".
• If something is hard to do, it's" like trying to herd cats".
• "He ran like his feet were on fire and his ass was a catchin'."
• A hectic schedule keeps you "busier than a cat covering up crap on a marble floor".

Insults

• "Your mamma's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, To be continued."
• "He fell out of the ugly tree....and hit every branch on the way down."
• "The wheel's turning, but the hamster's dead"

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